YOU'RE SO VAIN (Carly Simon)

You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye on the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and...

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
Well you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and...

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and...
Well I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won
Then you flew your lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and...

HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THE PAIN (Carly Simon/Jacob Brackman)

All those crazy nights when I cried myself to sleep
Now melodrama never makes me weep anymore
'Cause I haven't got time for the pain
I haven't got room for the pain
I haven't the need for the pain
Not since I've known you

You showed me how, how to leave myself behind
How to turn down the noise in my mind
Now I haven't got time for the pain
I haven't got room for the pain
I haven't the need for the pain
Not since I've known you

Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive
Though that's just how much it cost to survive in this world
'Til you showed me how, how to fill my heart with love
How to open up and drink in all that white love
Pouring down from the heaven
I haven't got time for the pain
I haven't got room for the pain
I haven't the need for the pain
Not since I've known you

Life and Circumstances

Life can be difficult
Life can be complex
One cannot undo
for there is no safety net

Think before you speak
Think before you act
Value what you have
for you can never go back

-- Josh Boxer 12/25/2003

Christmas Presents

* Yahtzee Game
* Panasonic DMR-E100HS Progressive-Scan DVD Recorder/PVR with 120 GB Hard Drive
* National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (Special Edition) DVD
* Season Pass to Adventureland
* $10 Gift Certificate to Coralridge Mall
* $10 Gift Certificate to Best Buy
* $20 Cash
* Electronic Hand-Held Big Screen Tetris
* Cosmos Kinetic
* Alton Brown's Gear for Your Kitchen
* The Original White House Cookbook
* 2000 Emergency Response Guidebook: A Guidebook for First Responders During the Initial Phase of a Dangerous Goods/Hazardous Materials Incident
* Star Trek Crosswords Book 2
* 50 Great States Read & Solve Crossword Puzzles: Engaging Reproducible Nonfiction Passages About Each State With Fun Crosswords That Help Build Reading Comprehension and Teach Fascinating Facts
* Jupiter Kinetic
* Milky the Elephant
* Elmo
* Ernie
* Cookie Monster
* Men's Hanes Premium T-Shirts - 3-pk. Tag-Less
* BINGO Hand-Held Game
* Rival 38501-C Round 5-Quart Smart-Pot Crock-Pot, White
* Telephone (one of those little see-thru ones where you can see the wires)
* Melitta MEBG8B Coffee Mill
* Lego Star Wars AT-AT
* LEGO Star Wars: Mini Collector Millennium Falcon
* LEGO Star Wars: Mini Collector Republic Gunship
* LEGO Star Wars: Mini Collector MTT
* Mr. Stud Inflatable Party Doll
* The Ultimate Star Trek CD
* Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat CD
* Chicago - A Musical Vaudeville (1975 Original Broadway Cast) CD
* Simpson Chess Set
* The Top 10 Game
* Jamie Oliver: Jamie's Kitchen
* Harry Potter 2004 Wall Calendar: Heroic Moments
* Mr. Coffee Steam Espresso and Cappuccino Maker
* The New Creative Crock-Pot Cookbook
* Seabiscuit DVD
* Pillsbury Doughboy Slow Cooker Recipes
* Friends Trivia In A Tin
* JFK (Director's Cut Two-Disc Special Edition) DVD
* Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer DVD
* Frosty the Snowman/Frosty Returns DVD
* Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town/The Little Drummer Boy DVD
* Winnie the Pooh - Seasons of Giving DVD
* It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie DVD
* Olive, the Other Reindeer DVD
* Christmas With the Simpsons DVD
* Charlie Brown Christmas DVD
* Dr. Seuss - How the Grinch Stole Christmas/Horton Hears a Who DVD
* The Muppet Christmas Carol DVD
* A Christmas Carol DVD (the one with Patrick Stewart)
* The New York Times Ultimate Crossword Omnibus: 1,001 Puzzles from The New York Times
* A Christmas Story (Two-Disc Special Edition) DVD
* Rudy
* Santy
* Frosty
* 2 Pair of Dockers
* Izod pull-over sweatshirt
* 2 Nike sweatshirts
* 2 Pair Boxers
* Sweater
* Essential Simon & Garfunkel CD
* 5 Mallard Ducks
* and a partridge in a pear tree

More thoughts on friendships ... the saga continues ...

Just because someone is interested in random sex with strangers does not make them a bad person to be friends with. If I thought this then I would be no better than the other guys who won't be friends with me because they do not find me "hot" or are not attracted to me. Although sometimes I make judgements on this type of behavior, that being the random sex acts, because the person has peeked my interest beyond being just a friend. At that point I do consider that persons sexual excapades my business. I don't feel that my means of finding this out to be "bad" or wrong. Just that in that case I feel that that knowledge is important because gay guys don't change. Yeah, at first they will be commited to you, but give it a few weeks and they will be back online chatting, if they haven't stopped in the first place, then they will be up to their old habbits again in no time.

I know this from personal experience in both of the two relatioships that I have had. I don't regret either of them as I have learned a lot from them. So, don't judge me as being a bad person because of the lenghts that I go through to extract this information. I know that it is possible to live a "gay" life and only have meaningful sexual experiences. I myself am living proof of its existence.

Maybe I am the opposite of most gay guys, meaning that I don't want friends who I am sexually attracted to. I don't know. This may seem like backwards thinking and probably is as I am not like most people. The bottom line is that I would like to have a friend someday, and I know that I will. And if this friend should have random sex partners, then that is okay because I would only be in it for the friendship.

My Pooh Bear

He's camera shy as you can tell!

Xmas Pics

Large Xmas Tree

Xmas Pics

Xmas Viallage beneath large xmas tree

Xmas Pics

Small Xmas Tree with presents

ABBA

ABBA - Honey Honey

Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah - hah, honey honey
Honey honey, nearly kill me, ah - hah, honey honey
I'd heard about you before
I wanted to know some more
And now I know what they mean, you're a love machine
Oh, you make me dizzy

Honey honey, let me feel it, ah - hah, honey honey
Honey honey, don't conceal it, ah - hah, honey honey
The way that you kiss goodnight
(The way that you kiss me goodnight)
The way that you hold me tight
(The way that you're holding me tight)
I feel like I wanna sing when you do your thing

I don't wanna hurt you, baby, I don't wanna see you cry
So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high
But I'm gonna stick to you, boy, you'll never get rid of me
There's no other place in this world where I rather would be

Honey honey, touch me, baby, ah - hah, honey honey
Honey honey, hold me, baby, ah - hah, honey honey
You look like a movie star
(You look like a movie star)
But I know just who you are
(I know just who you are)
And, honey, to say the least, you're a dog - gone beast

So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high
There's no other place in this world where I rather would be

Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah - hah, honey honey
Honey honey, nearly kill me, ah - hah, honey honey
I heard about you before
I wanted to know some more
And now I know what they mean, you're a love machine

Dinosaur Floor Puzzle by

Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book by Darling, Gardens

Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Complete First Season by Robert B. Weide

My Gay.com Shit/Spam List (the bad guys)

nickerbocker146
bonk-
nowshowing
tennisvarsity041132
phoenixr25
pup.
flagheart
Dsm21nfun

Love Will Keep Us Together

Love, love will keep us together
Think of me babe whenever
Some sweet talkin' girl comes along
Singin' her song
Don't mess around you gotta be strong
Just stop
Cause I really love ya
Stop
I'll be thinkin' of ya
Look in my heart and let love keep us together

You, you belong to me now
Ain't gonna set you free now
When those girls start hangin' around
Talkin' me down
Hear with you heart and you won't hear a sound

Just stop
Cause I really love ya
Stop
I'll be thinkin' of ya
Look in my heart and let love keep us together
Whatever

Young and beautiful
But someday your looks will be gone
When the others turn you off
Who'll be turnin' you on
I will I will I will I will

(repeat chorus)

I will I will I will I will

I will be there to share for ever
Love will keep us together
Said it before and I'll say it again
While others pretend
I need you now and I'll need you then

Just stop
Cause I really love ya
Stop
I'll be thinkin' of ya
Look in my heart and let love keep is together

Love, love will keep us together
Love, love will keep us together
Love, love will keep us together

Friendship Thoughts

Friendships are very hard to comeby on gay.com. It seems that in the gay community you have to be attracted to anyone who can be your friend. I know that I have low self-esteme but I also know that I'm not hot. I met this one guy a long time ago to just be friends. The situation was very awkward though when we finally met. When I asked him later what went wrong he told me that "we didn't click" which sounded like he was not attracted to me or something.

I currently know of a couple of people on gay.com that I would like to develop friendships with. However none of them seem to be interested at the moment. I shall try harder, and not give up. Yet I don't want them to think that I'm stalking them or anything because I'm not. I'm harmless.

The best movies coming out right now on DVD:

Get to know me

If what interests you most in life is friendship, companionship, and love; then get to know me.

All you need is love

Who would throw away a lifetime of love for 15 minutes of sex? Most.